the f word.

i've done some terrible things.
things that i can't even begin to wrap my head around right now.
i am so completely overwhelmed. completely.

i can say though, with absolute certainty, that i am forever changed.
i guess mistakes aren't bad unless you never learn from them.
and my goodness, have i learned.
rather, i am learning.
and i'll know... but not soon enough.

i feel like things were so easy for me for so long, and now i've been faced with this huge test. this...
unimaginable and (frankly) unnecessary test.

ha. test.

... i don't even know.

i'm just really sad right now i guess.